This a real story out of the Hastings Observer. It seems this man decided to commit suicide by stabbing himself in the groin with a giant souvenir pencil.

And here’s me with a really giant pencil. Wish my groin was this big.

I dunno if you watch Dog - The Bounty Hunter, but these are the exact same MP3 player sunglasses that he wears.

Available today from Amazon

Buy some now - then catch some bail jumpers