Me and the girlfriend were talking about how air fresheners seem to be the most innovative sector of all fast moving consumer goods. As you do.

Everytime we see a new advert for air fresheners we groan, wondering what they have done now to make me want a new air freshener.

In recent years we have seen:

• motioned trigger air fresheners
• power point plugin air fresheners
• dual scent air fresheners
• air fresheners disguised as pebbles
• air fresheners disguised as candles
• air fresheners for toilets
• air fresheners for cats

Anyway, I was wondering where the air freshener industry was going to take us next. Here’s my best guess at the future of air de-odourisation solutions.

Aromatherapy Air Fresheners
These will pump our peppy citrus smells in the morning and calming lavender scents in the evening

Fan Driven Smell Dispersal
A squirt of scent only permeates so far into the home. What we need is a squirt, then a huge gust of air to waft the smell into all the nooks and crannies.

Home Selling Air Fresheners
They say that when you are showing potential homebuyers around a home you should bake a loaf of bread at the same time. It makes the house seem more homely. Why not let a air freshener make your house smell like a freshly baked loaf.

Personal Air Fresheners
This would be a pendant you wear that contains a motion sensor. Every time you stop still – it releases a puff of pleasant scent. Great if you’re visiting public toilets.

Air Fresheners Disguised as Flowers
Flowers are meant to smell nice aren’t they? These definitely will as they are filled with lab produced chemicals.

Film & TV Licensed Air Fresheners
If you are watching a film like avatar at home on your HD TV – you want it to be as immersive as possible. Why not get an Avatar air freshener that for 3 hours pumps out the smell of Pandora’s forests.

Remember Scents
Smells are often linked very closely with memories because the olfactory bulb in the brain has intimate access to the amygdala, which processes emotion, and the hippocampus, which is responsible for associative learning.

Why don’t companies release scents of the 80s (brut & bubblegum) or scents of the 90s (sweat and mdma)?

These would take us back to a simpler time when we didn’t have to worry so much about what our house fucking smelt like.